Musings on 100, Part V

Yesterday I was wondering what type of workout to do. I have been doing speed stuff lately, and it is bringing my fitness to a good level. I planned to do some hard 400's on the arboretum dirt roads, but I felt there was a better workout, but could not remember what it was. Walking to work I realized a medium distance South Farms loop (12 miles) was the workout that I had forgotten about. So I laced up my road shoes after work and ran my best loop of the year. I was able to run faster than normal, yet with a moderate level of exertion - the speed sessions are working.

During the run I felt tension in my right foot near the big toe. I took off my shoe to empty out rocks at the 10 mile mark and discovered that when I bent the big toe I could feel discomfort. When I finished the run I iced the foot off and on for the rest of the day.

While at work today I decided a barefoot walk up and down the arboretum hill would be the perfect workout for my foot. I walked the hill at noon for 75 minutes in high humidity and my foot felt fine, so I am hoping that the discomfort is a quickly passing thing.

Tomorrow's workout will be 150m hard followed by a 50m jog, repeated until exhaustion. I had been doing this at the track, but now that school is back in session I am running it on the arboretum dirt roads.

Friday is a big day, I am driving to Blackwell in Warrenville for a long workout. I will arrive around noon, and plan to run and walk until dusk, with some of the run/walk being up and down Mt. Hoy. I am hoping that by returning to the training ground of my youth the fire in my heart will burn brighter, and the inspiration thus gained will help sustain me during the 100 mile race.

Musings on 100, Part IV

Reading the blogs of some of the best runners in the world is a privilege. I learn about their training methods, diet ideas, the psychology of running when a race really is a race. Average runners like me don't really race, it is more of a personal journey in reaching one's potential, but the elite are vying to cross the line first, to be the best in the world.

Reading their blogs I also glimpse their human side, the times they fall short, get lazy, or train too hard resulting in injury. In a recent 100 mile race one of the top distance runner's in the USA dropped due to lack of motivation, as she put it "my head and heart were not in it". I can recall only two other times when I have read something like this, one from a local ultra runner who gave up at the McNaughton 100 because he wondered to himself after mile 30, "why am I out here, I would rather be watching soccer on tv", so he quit and went home to watch sports on tv. The other runner is from Minnesota and prides himself on being a tough guts runner, a guy who will finish a race with a broken leg. This particular race, the Lean Horse 100, he dropped at mile 25 because he "did not feel like running". Later in the day he hiked for 10-15 miles up a mountain because he had a lot of energy and didn't know what to do with himself while his friends were still running the race.

What I find confusing about this is that they did not seem to feel any kind of remorse or sense of failure. Perhaps they did, but they never wrote about it in their blog (the elite runner has yet to blog about her decision to drop, so I don't know how she feels about it). The local guy sometimes mentions failure, but the kind of failure that exists only when one has the wrong attitude (goals are based on external circumstances). He recently ran the Howl and was hoping to run above 40 miles. He ended up with 33, and considered this a failure. However, I saw him on the course, I could see he was not feeling well, but he did not give up, and he ran the full 8 hours, pretty amazing when your feeling sick and low. In my mind the Howl was a success, and the McNaughton race a failure. He never mentioned the McNaughton race as a failure, yet it can be nothing but a failure - the moment he stopped trying, he failed. He did not have an injury, was not feeling ill, the weather was not bothering him, he just did not feel like finishing what he started. It would be like Churchill giving up against the Nazis in '41 because he was tired of the whole mess (fortunately this did not happen!)

I have yet to experience quitting a race due to lack of motivation. I could have dropped from the Devil's Lake race last year due to a painful knee, but the desire to finish was stronger than the pain I was experiencing. I am glad I did not drop because struggling with pain is something which makes me stronger and hardens my will.

If I ever write a race report which starts out, "I went to run the race, felt great, but dropped out because I didn't feel like being there", I will surely count it as a failure. If I do experience that kind of failure, I am sure I will feel regret the next day, but the next race I will get another chance to fight it out to the end. There is no shame in failing, as long as I forgive myself and move on to the next challenge.

Musings on 100, Part III

Having written about setting a proper goal in order to achieve a correct state of mind in athletic competition, I need to set down my own specific goals for the upcoming 100 mile race.

This being my first 100 mile attempt, I have no illusions as to finishing. All of the 1st time attempts I have read in race reports are 50/50. For myself, I initially laid odds at 40/60, and even though I am getting fitter and currently running strong, I have revised the odds to 25/75. The reason for this is my weekly mileage is low. Running every other day the miles have no option but to remain on the low side. However, when I include walking, which I do on off days, the total mileage is more encouraging.

The main goal : To try my best to finish. The focus will be on my effort to get to the 100 mile mark. If I stop at mile 25, 50, or 75, I will ask myself when the race ends - "did I try my best to go 100 miles?" If I answer yes, the day will have been a success.

Musings on 100, Part II

My recent running has been going well. I ran 8 x 1000m hard loops at Busey Woods on Thursday. I could have pushed to 12 or even 15, but 8 seemed perfect, it left me feeling refreshed and energetic. Yesterday I ran 16 hill sprints at the arboretum - 100m at 5k speed to get to the base of the hill, 75m up the hill, and then 75m all out sprint going down the hill and 100m beyond. Unlike the Busey Woods workout, 16 was pretty much my limit. I could have maybe reached 18-20, but it would have been pushing too far. I felt the magical mixture of exhaustion and strength after, and realized I am easing into a high mark of fitness.

As I walked the cemetery hill this morning (2 hours 45 minutes) I mused upon the upcoming 100. A proper attitude and outlook is one of the most important things to be in possession of during training and race day. Seeing that every living thing occupies a unique position in time and space, it is obvious that there are no easy ways to obtain this strength and health of mind, because nobody can give a definitive step by step plan - what works for you, won't work for me.

However, there are generalities which can be used as guide posts to help us along the way, and these markers are usually found in religious and philosophical ideas. I gravitate most strongly to the Zen philosophy of achieving the proper attitude toward life. Bukowski's grave stone sums it up nicely - "Don't Try". What this means is not to try for the things which will cause misery - don't try for wealth, fame, the approval of others. If it comes, fine, if not, that also is fine. The thing to strive for is giving one's best efforts in things one loves to do. Results don't matter, or if they do, just as a curiosity and a way to quantify external circumstance.

What brings misery is allowing myself to be controlled by external circumstance. 25 years ago I realized that how I phrase a goal is an important part of obtaining the correct attitude. To state a goal which has an external result as the main focus, will bring misery. A few examples - "my goal is to beat runner x in a 50k"; "my goal is to finish the 50k in under 6 hours"; "my goal is to finish a 100 mile foot race". All of these goals will bring misery, or at best, a fleeting joy. No peace of mind can be gained from them, therefore they are incorrect and need to be rephrased. What I discovered was that if the 4 words " to try my best" are placed in front of the above mentioned goals, it negates the control external circumstance has over my life, and puts my own will as the sole focus of any endeavor. "My goal is to try my best to beat runner x in a 50k", no longer gives control to runner x, and runner x no longer is the main focus in my mind. What I now need to struggle with is my own will to achieve that goal. What is required is to train intelligently, putting in the greatest effort possible, and when race day comes to give every ounce of strength to try to defeat runner X. Regardless of the result, the only thing that concerns me is that I did everything possible to defeat runner X. Whether I defeated him or not does not matter, what matters is my effort.

I find it surprising that most of the running blogs I read are full of goals which create misery in the runner. I was reading a talented runner's blog and found that her DNF at the Big Horn 100 caused her inner pain and misery, which was a result of the goals she set up in her mind. Even if she was the fastest runner on the planet, I would not switch places with her because the things that matters most, the quality of her inner life and how she feels about running and living, was a complete mess. Here are a few lines from her blog :

"I got out of it began to get feeling back in my hands and legs but never came around. I gave myself miles of emotional abuse wondering if I am just simply wimping out and letting myself and everyone else down. Wondering if failure was defining me. The emotional thrashing lasted a really long time. The battle between my body and my mind was intense and absolutely raw. Trying to separate the two and figure out how pull myself around was incredible and frustrating. It was a wicked ride. I gave it all I had."

The final line of the above reveals that instead of being a "failure", she was an absolute success. She was attempting a difficult and awesome thing, and gave it all she had, yet her inner life was constructed so that success and failure hinged upon things which were out of her control - the weather, the weariness and pain in her body, the terrain of the course. Her later blog entries reveal that for weeks she experienced emotional pain because the goal of finishing had not been met. Had she simply placed the words "to try my best" in front of her stated goal, she would have bypassed all of the pain and misery which she heaped upon herself. The results would have been the same, or, she possibly could have finished. She wasted so much energy on emotionally abusing herself during the race due to her misguided goal, that if she had focused solely on trying her best to finish, maybe she could have done it.

In my experience those 4 words, "to try my best", allows me to put forth a supreme effort, and the results, which are secondary and looked at for curiosity, usually surpass my initial expectations. I am convinced that by trying to give one's greatest effort in any endeavor, the best possible results will occur. Failure is not a permanent thing, and when it does occur it resides solely in lack of effort. When a lack of effort happens, it is only for a few moments, and as long as I am still alive and breathing, I can try anew, the failure as fleeting as a passing cloud in an otherwise blue sky.

Musings on 100, Part I

Now that I am committed to running a 100 mile race, my thoughts have turned to the details - how to train, what to wear, shoes, blisters, food consumption, drop bags, what kind of light source to use for the night run. Perhaps even more important than the physical items is the need to find the correct attitude - a way of experiencing the race which fits with who I am.

The many 100 mile race reports which can be found on the internet is a blessing, and I am grateful to all of the people who take the time to write and share them. Some people like to socialize as they run, others listen to music, some wear their watches and habitually look at their wrists to see if they are hitting their goal pace. Runners with backpacks filled with enough supplies to last a week in the wilderness contrasted with the minimalist gurus who run barefoot and don't carry anything except a water bottle. The runner who carries a camera and stops to make pictures every 2 miles. The ones who eat fancy sounding, processed "energy" foods (Perpetuem, Boost, Ensure, Vespa), and more often than not their blogs are advertising said products.

What I have discovered is that there is no miracle food, no magic shoes, no fool proof method to prevent blisters or upset stomach (although some who write lovingly about drinking Ensure or Boost at mile 15 later in the report write of vomiting and shitting uncontrollably at mile 30, which makes it appear that these products have joined Olestra in the "pay lots of money for a product which makes your stomach hurt and bowels explode, and do it with a smile on your face" category). Each runner has to cut their own path through the wilderness of misinformation, propaganda, and devious marketing.

The Hallucination 100

A few days ago I decided it was time to attempt a 100 mile foot race, and I chose the Hallucination 100 in Hell, Michigan, September 24-26. There were some things about this particular event which made me hesitate, but it was the closest to home of the races which I considered, which made it the least expensive.

One of the things which I don't care for is the amount of races going on over the weekend, everything from 5/10k to 50 mile. Seeing people on the trail who are fresh as daisies while I am on mile 75 (if I am lucky enough to get that far) may have a negative effect on my state of mind. However, knowing other 100 mile runners will still be on the course may make those fresh runners a mute point.

The theme for the race is Woodstock, 1969, there will be live music and trippy people hanging out all weekend. I am hoping the mood/theme does not take me out of my mental comfort level, as I don't like being around groups of people whose main focus is talking and eating. I will be there to run 100 miles, and everything else which happens is secondary.

I believe the above are minor things which won't negatively affect me, so I am excited about my decision to attempt something which I have been thinking about for over 20 years.

I decided my training for the next 5 weeks will be moderate, yet intense. I will run every other day, the days I don't run will be spent walking up and down the 2 hills in town.

I plan on visiting Blackwell forest preserve in Warrenville (western suburb of Chicago) 3 weeks before the race. I hope to run 4-8 hours, some of it being up and down Mt. Hoy, the largest hill in the area. I spent weekends at Blackwell in my early 20's running and hiking, and it was there that I literally ran into a man who was training for a 100 mile race. He planted the idea into my head that one day maybe I too could attempt to run 100 miles - I am now finally going to try.

Tough Day at the Mahomet Half

The running season is starting to heat up - important decisions, plenty of race opportunities, and of course the weather.

This morning I ran the Mahomet Half and had a challenging, fun time. The morning started out misty and warm, and the cloud cover soon disappeared and the humidity soared, which made for some tough running.

I recently bought racing shoes for asphalt running (Brooks Green Silence) and got a chance to try them out today. Although they are light and roomy, when I run in them I get the sensation that they will cause blisters if I run long enough. While I did not get any blisters on today's run, one of my toe nails rubbed on the top of the shoe causing it to get sore (cause of black toe nail syndrome). Another negative aspect of the shoes is that they make me look as if I stole them from Ronald McDonald's locker at the chain's headquarters. Rachel thinks they are hideous, and I don't disagree.

Hamburgler in the House

Since I began running in cross country shoes a couple of years ago I have not had problems with blisters, black toe nails, or sore feet. It is counter intuitive because the shoes have no cushioning, fit snug, and have little room for toe or heel movement. People at races see my shoes and ask how my feet are holding up, and when I tell them my feet are fine they look skeptical (they of course are wearing cushioned clunkers).

I believe that high heeled running shoes should not be worn on grass trails or uneven terrain. When I wore this type of shoe when running trails I could feel the instability of the foot when it tried to plant on the non-flat surface, and my ankle would sometimes turn unnaturally. I consider myself lucky that I never sprained/broke a bone in my ankle due to this poor choice of footwear. The low heeled shoe allows the foot to land with more grace and strength, and I have yet to feel the sensation that my ankle is about to turn and break. At last weeks Howl I was running behind a man on the part of the course which has bumpy grass, and I watched him fall painfully to the ground due to his ankle turning. His shoe of course was a high heeled clunker, and I am certain that was the cause of his fall. He may have suffered a serious injury due to his inappropriate shoe choice.

Cross country shoes are not good for roads, though, at least for an average runner like myself. After a few miles I can feel the hardness of the surface begin to wear on the soles of my feet. So getting a bit of cushion is probably the way to go for 5k-longer road races. I still look for a low heeled shoe, as I don't see the need for a giant heel. While the Green Silence is comfortable enough for runs up to half marathon distance, I don't think my feet would approve if I ran 3-4 hours in them. I read of some runners who had success with this shoe for road ultras, but my foot size/structure is unfortunately not the right fit.

Today's race was more difficult than last years. I feel I am in better condition this year, but last year everything went perfect - started out moderately and was able to speed up at the half way point, and the final 3 miles had me wishing for a longer race. This year at mile 10 I was wishing for the race to be over because I was right on the threshold of exhaustion and pain.

I started out with a 7:46 first mile, it felt easy, but soon the sun popped out and I maintained an 8:00-8:10 pace for the remaining miles. I slowed during the final 2 miles, but nothing significant, so overall I ran a smart race, it just hurt more than I would have liked.

During the race I seesawed with 2 women who ran the Howl last week, they both ran in the low 40's, so they have similar speed and endurance as me. One of the women appears to be overweight and ungraceful, but I learned a while ago that how a runner looks does not equate with how they perform. I am a good example, as I have poor form and odd mechanics, but still manage to post above average results. So although I do not like the idea of losing to an overweight woman with poor form, I was forced to acknowledge that she is a hell of a runner.

I also seesawed with a man dressed in a Burger King man suit. He wore a mask, leggings, coat, and the BK medallion. He passed me in the final mile, and I just had to shake my head and laugh. At various points in the race people would comment to me, "watch out, the Burger King man is right behind you!" At mile 11 I passed a group of junior high cheerleaders, and had to suffer the indignity of having the Burger King man pass me at that moment. The girls shouted to me as I ran their gauntlet - "your getting beat by the Burger King man!" :)

At mile 10 I saw a guy running barefoot, he was making it look easy. Also saw a guy running in the Vibram toe shoes, but his feet were slapping the ground clumsily, and I knew that couldn't be a good thing.

During the final 5 miles I found myself pushing harder than I wanted to. The psychology of racing showed its many faces as I tried to quell my competitive spirit. I knew that if I just slowed down a bit I would feel a whole lot better and the race would be more enjoyable. But seeing the Burger King man and the 2 women from the Howl constantly within striking distance made it difficult for me to do so. Being passed is not pleasant, but neither is running near maximum heart rate - I have to pick my poison.

When I entered the track for the final 300m I surprisingly found myself behind Ken Welle. A few years ago we always finished races next to each other, but he became faster, I became slower, and I no longer saw him at the end of races. I guess Ken was having a tough day, he was running slow and I knew I could pass him. However, I have passed him numerous times during the final 800m of 5k's, but to pass him here at the tail end of a half marathon seemed a bit ridiculous. I turned around to make sure nobody was going to pass me, and when I found a 200m cushion I got in behind Ken and followed him around the turn. I then heard my name being called and turned to see Michelle M. standing and cheering in the bleachers. I was just as stunned to see her as I was Melinda at the Howl - what a great surprise! I followed Ken into the chute, crossing the finish in 1:45.

Today's race was 3 minutes slower and more difficult than last year's. However, upon checking the results I found that I placed 63rd this year compared to 97th last year - I guess most people had a tougher experience due to the humidity.

After the race I talked with Yong Zhen for 30 minutes (he is getting very fast, he ran 1:30), then went to visit with Michelle in the bleachers. She had come in from Chicago to see her sister run her first half marathon - Michelle is the best!

42 at the Howl

At the finish of the Howl at the Moon 8 hour race today I felt a wave of happiness which made me think this was one of the best days of my life. Something about running all day with the sun brings on emotions and images which have a peculiar, positive energy.

I finished with 12 laps, same as last year, but I finished the 12 35 minutes faster today. However, I was forced to wait around the start/finish line for 18 minutes before being allowed to run the final 30 minutes on the grass 1/4 mile out and back. I was able to run 2 1/2 miles during those final 30 minutes, which brought my total mileage t0 41.98, 2 miles more than last year.

Melinda's appearance at the start of my 5th loop helped me through the roughest part of the race. When she left 3 loops later I decided to walk until my heart rate reset. Sometimes it won't back down, but after 1 mile of walking I was able to start running with more confidence, and the race became easier after that.

I ran up the one hill on the course on the first 11 loops, and decided I was too tired to run it on the 12th. Last year the same thing happened.

I lost my appetite after the 5th hour due to the heat, but the lemonade and occasional salted potato gave me enough calories to finish without losing much energy. Melinda's magic honey also helped.

The weather at the start of the race was decent, low 70's with cloud cover. At the half way point the sun popped out, causing the temperature to rise to the mid 90's with high humidity. Battling the heat was my toughest challenge.

I ran the final 2 1/2 miles barefoot (the loop was all grass). I got some funny looks, and 2 people didn't seem too pleased about my choice of foot apparel.

My health was good, I had no leg/knee pain at any point in the race, which gives me confidence that I may have turned a corner with my knee injuries.

I was using this race as an indicator of my fitness, especially toward the idea of running a 100 mile race in the autumn. I passed the test, however, I am uncertain I can withstand the pain and discomfort which will intensify past the 50 mile mark. While I am not completely wiped from today's effort, I can't wrap my head around how bad I will feel during a 100 miler. Don Frichtl summed it up well when I asked him when he last ran a 100 miler. "5 years ago, just enough time for me to forget how painful it was." I will see how my recovery goes, then decide whether to register for a 100 mile race.

Arkansas Traveler 100 and the Perfectly Preserved Moth

Now that Lean Horse 100 is off the table, I have been searching for a 100 mile race in the autumn. The Arkansas Traveler 100 is in early October, which seems to be a perfect time to run a 100 mile race. Still early enough in the season for a chance of warm weather, but late enough so that when the race is finished I can put an end to the season and take a 4-6 week break.

Do I have what it takes to run 100 miles? Am I properly trained? What happens if my stomach goes south and I start barfing on the course? What if my quads turn to cement at mile 65? These questions and other uncertainties flitted through my mind as I walked hills for 4 hours this afternoon.

This year I returned to my old way of training - run every other day, and when I want to feel extra fresh, take 2 days off. I did this method of training in Chicago and I found it suited me. The days off allow my body full recovery, which means that every run is quality. The days I don't run I usually spend walking. Lately the walks have been on the 2 hills in town. Walking is just as pleasurable to me as running, and with ultra races some portions of the race are spent walking hills, or even flat ground.

Yesterday I walked 3 hours, two at the cemetery hill. About an hour into the walk I found a moth laying directly on my well worn path. Even though it was on blacktop, it blended in so that it looked like a patch of grass breaking up the concrete. It was well preserved, beautiful colors and shapes making me wonder about the mysteries of life. I carried it home with me.

Tapering at the Track

The 2 weeks before an ultra are soft and easy, although the workouts I do are anything but. My plan during this taper is to work on improving my sprinting speed. No rhyme or reason to it, as long as it's anything but a distance run it's fair game.

The past 3 workouts I went to the track and did 150m sprints followed by a 50m jog repeated until exhaustion. The short recovery jog gives my heart just enough time to reset itself for the next repeat. Wednesday's workout was at noon in 95 degree heat and high humidity. The track smelled like a tire factory and the heat rising off the rubber made it feel 10 degrees hotter. I surprisingly felt strong during the run, and my willingness to work hard on a hot day paid off because today I felt faster and stronger than I have all year. It was only 80 degrees, with lower humidity, and no matter how hard I pushed during the 150m sprints I was in control of my breath. I felt like I could run for an hour so I decided to stop before exhaustion set in because I did not want to have sore legs leading up to the race.

My hope is that the short, fast running will increase my long distance cruising speed.

Feeling Good

I decided a couple of days ago not to register for the Lean Horse 100. Traveling to South Dakota (resulting in too much money spent on gas and hotel), only 2 weeks after the Howl (not enough recovery time), and the fact I had to abandon a long run at mile 17 were enough reasons to convince me.

However, after taking 2 days of rest after the aborted long run, I felt pretty good. I went to the track on Monday and did 150m sprints followed by 50m of jogging, repeated until exhaustion. After exhaustion set in I took off my shoes and ran 6 x 100m all out sprints in the grass. I felt strong in the workout, no apparent ill effects from the long run. The next day I was expecting my legs to be sore because sprinting/fast running usually does this to me, but I felt little soreness as I walked up and down the cemetery hill for an hour. As I walked the hill in scorching heat/high humidity, I realized I was feeling better than I have in a while. My hill walking days usually have traces of knee weakness, but my knees felt strong.

Today I plan on going back to the track to run the same workout as Monday. I want to increase my tolerance to fast paced running so that I can have a balance between running long and slow and short and fast.

I am contemplating running a 100 mile race in the autumn.