The Man Who is not There

Almost a month has passed since my last entry, and the progress I have made with the guitar is startling. My main mode of practice this month has been jamming to sets. The sets include songs such as Spoonful, I Heard it Through the Grapevine, Graveyard Train, Blues Boogie by Canned Heat, a few Nick Moss songs, jams by Phish, even Led Zep's Babe I'm Gonna Leave You and the powerful Communication Breakdown. A set usually lasts 90-120 minutes, and sometimes I do a second set or sit down to practice finger exercises. The long sets have made my left hand fingers longer, because the callouses on the tips have grown absurdly thick, wiping away the print lines of the fingers and replacing them with funky ridges and holes. I am no longer hindered by finger weakness, which allows me to practice indefinitely if I feel like it. Standing up for 2 hours with a guitar strapped on has caused my left shoulder to be perpetually sore, though.

Playing the same songs every day for months leads to comfort and familiarity, which then leads to insights coming into focus. The pentatonic scale has become a familiar alphabet of sound, and I am writing sentences and paragraphs with more confidence and ease. Discovery of note patterns is frequent and my fingers can quickly adapt to the necessary positions and movements. I can now switch from lead to rhythm fairly quickly, and I have more chords at my disposal. Picking motion and accuracy is also better.

Normally I play everyday, but sometimes I take a day off and upon returning my body and mind have moved forward and the sessions are thus more crisp and inspired.

It seems fairly recent that I replaced the strings on the guitar. I don't know how to do it myself so I bring it to the local shop where I bought it. The charge for strings and labor is $26. The first time I got new strings they lasted 6 months. When I tested them they sounded clear and pleasing, and I thus realized the importance of fresh strings for a solid tone and feel. A few days ago I was jamming to Communication Breakdown and the high E string broke. I hopped on my bike and brought the guitar to the shop before they closed at 6:00. The clerk decided to be nice and he strung the E for me, showing me how to do it. It is easier than I thought, so I can now skip the $20 labor charge and just buy strings and replace them myself. I have 4 or 5 packages which I bought on Amazon using credit card bonus points, so I am set for a few months.

I would like to take the sessions to the next level and begin practicing 4-5 hours a day. The progress will be quicker and more satisfying, and I will have reached a level of dedication required for mastery. But, working 8 hours a day makes it difficult, and my sleeping patterns have been awful lately, getting only 4-5 hours a night due to sucking too much out of life on any given day. Working 4 hours a day allowed me to work at things for 4-6 hours and still get 8 hours of sleep per night. I drag my ass around the office feeling like a zombie, and I have resorted to taking a 30 minute nap in the basement break room during my lunch to make it through the day. Some days it feels like running an ultra marathon, I reach such lows that I just want to walk out and never come back, but then I take a nap and feel much better. The awful feelings are related to sleep deprivation, which is my own fault.

As I write this it is 11:00pm and I should have been in bed 2 hours ago, instead I am willfully heading to another 5 hour night of sleep, which will make for a miserable Monday. I keep telling myself only 2 more months until I quit, but sometimes I wonder if I can make it. Working 8 hours sitting in one place is torture, and I am looking forward to the day when it is all over, a tiresome dream coming to an end. My savings have steadily gone up, so I will soon be able to have unlimited time for my own work for at least a year.