Sunday, May 29, 2011

Long



I sit before you,

the beauty I lusted for

no longer reflected against my eyes.

We hold each others gaze

for a long while,

reconciling time,

but no matter how I add the moments

they don't equal the empty death

which now bows before me.


You take it so well,

being still,

your faded yellows and

dried lines

out of tune with the

rotation of the sun.



I'd like to believe that my time

and yours,

are not of the same color and type -

that what you sense and remember is

just as rich and eventful....

and long -

with some ancient thing,

sitting still

beneath a flurry of stars,

believing the same of me.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Stone




Stone

Opening my eyes
I see a stem, two yellow flowers, and a red spider
which is small -
so small it fits
through the eye of a golden needle.

The red spider hops, glides
across the sensuous, curving petals,
and stops upon a
line of fur,
which is smooth as moss.

It darts off,
always on the move,
looking for food, a friend,
or something.

The flower is still and empty,
a universe of color and warmth
bundled tightly in its silken folds,
with death held back
for at least a moment more.

My eyes darken and
turning upon themselves
an open hand meets the dreamy gaze,
a bird upon a stone.



Friday, May 20, 2011

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Connection

The More I Learn, The Less I Know

Walking to Work, Spring

Thinking about the continued progress I am making with guitar has inspired me to reflect upon the learning process. As I have previously written, one of the things which interest me about guitar is its foreignness and complexity - not having any prior knowledge or experience with it or music makes it a perfect activity for gaining knowledge of my own personal learning process.

At the current point of my development a picture of the steps required when beginning the guitar is coming into focus. I see that I was making progress during the difficult beginning months, but was blinded to most of it because I was unable to make pleasing sounds. One thing which intrigues me about the guitar is a person of average intelligence has to work hard for an extended period of time before anything resembling music can be created - it is a test of patience, will, and desire. When I see/hear an accomplished guitarist I have a high regard for their accomplishment because I have a sense of the trials they went through. An exception to this is the prodigy who displays unusual focus and clarity, unraveling complex problems quickly and with great insight. While I admire this quality, knowing the prodigy did not endure the hardships of the average person means that I look upon their achievement as something done by a power higher than human.

One of the qualities of my mind is its ability to break down a complex activity into simple steps. While it cannot do this quickly, with continued practice and reflection it gets ever closer to the goal. I have learned during this journey that it is better to work out technical/mechanical problems on my own. Reading an article about vibrato does not do me much good because the description of how to do it may make logical sense, but without practice it means nothing. Even the steps and insights provided are for the most part useless because each person's mind/body is unique. While there may be similarities in vibrato technique for all good players, I believe that each of those players went about it in their own way before ending up in the same place.

Rather than reading about vibrato, what I need to do is hear the sound of the vibrato in my head, and then try to recreate it with the guitar. When I finally am able to achieve the sound, the technique will have been established.


Monday, May 9, 2011

Breakthrough

Spring Visits a Parking Lot

During the week when I pick up the guitar I focus upon the mechanical aspects of playing. Repetitive finger movements dominate a session - the ladder, chromatic scale, pentatonic scale, bending, vibrato, chords and sliding bar chords. Sometimes I will play along to a jam track to learn rhythm. When Sunday arrives I wait for the sun to descend into the trees, the sky becoming pink/orange/red/silver - it is then that I feel the need to focus upon my emotions, allowing the state of my spirit to dictate what kind of music I will create with the guitar.

Yesterday when I began to play there were extended moments when the mechanics were forgotten, allowing me to concentrate upon the sounds flowing into the room. My fingers became tiny birds weaving into a complicated pattern of tree shapes - any hesitation or doubt resulting in disgrace - I therefore left doubt behind and became one with the guitar. It was the first time I created music which reflected the white burn living inside my heart, and this led to a few beautiful moments when the body shivers with recognition upon hearing the truth.

Today is balmy and summer like, the sun going low into the green roundness of things - repetition, repetition, repetition....

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Sunday

Morning Walk, Spring


Sunday

A small room eaten slowly by the night -
piece by piece dissolving
until the only thing left
is sleep.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Spring Dream





















On my walks to work I have been carrying the camera, the days have been a mixture of seasons, so many peculiar things to see....