I arrived Friday afternoon at Farmdale Reservoir and set up my tent in a big field surrounded by trees. I played my guitar, ate a supper of sandwich and salad, and went to sleep when it got dark at 7:30pm. The night air dropped to 40 degrees, so I got a bit chilled, but still managed to sleep.
I woke at 4:10am, got myself ready to run, and we were sent off into the dark woods at 5:00am. I was back to running in the dark, and it was fun. I noticed that my headlamp band was looser than expected, then I remembered Rachel had worn it last week. Since I was already on the run I did not want to stop and fix it, so I took it off my head and carried it until the sun came up at 6:30am.
My task was to run 5 x 10 mile loops. I finished the first loop in 2:07, which seemed a good pace for 50 miles. The course was changed from last year, it seemed more difficult with numerous hills and twisting bike paths. Most of the loop is similar to the 5 mile bike route at Kickapoo that I found challenging. I was worried that this years Farmdale course was going to tear up my legs with so much up and down and twisting and turning.
My legs were already a bit fatigued after the first loop, and as I started the second loop I decided that I would be lucky if I finished under the cutoff time of 13 hours. Even though I felt as if I was running slower during the second loop, I came in at 4:07, which means I ran it faster than the first by 7 minutes. I guessed that running in daylight had made it easier.
The third loop went well, my legs were starting to get tired, but there was little soreness in the quads. I made sure to walk most of the hills during this loop, and slowed down a bit, finishing 30 miles in 6:18. I felt good about that time, as the course seemed as difficult as the Devil's Lake 50k.
I started the fourth loop feeling alright, but at mile 32 my heart rate jumped and I could not slow it down. My mouth soon became dry, and I thus emptied my water bottle well before I reached the 5 mile aid station. The day had gotten warm, when we started I could see my breath and my hands were numb with cold. Now it was 85 degrees and I was feeling it. I was wishing that my heat training from the summer would help me out, but it had not been hot during the past 3 weeks and my body was having trouble adapting.
I decided to walk until my heart rate declined but unfortunately the walking did not help. It was an odd sensation to be breathing heavy while walking and it seemed ridiculous. I was now being passed by a lot of people but tried not to let it bother me. My mind was focused on getting my heart rate back to normal.
Throughout the race I had been periodically eating dried, sweetened pineapple chunks. Within 10-15 minutes of eating the pineapple I would feel an energy boost, so it was helping me avoid the valleys of energy depletion which sometimes happen during a long race. When I reached the longest hill on the course (about 250m) I attempted to eat the pineapple but I felt a wave of nausea overcome me and I had to spit out the food. I tried drinking the water I had left and also spit it out. I was still breathing heavy and walking up the hill was not helping. I knew that I would not be able to finish the race if I could no longer eat or drink. I thought about finding a quiet place off the trail and sitting down for a while, but I got worried that with little water left I would be unable to cool myself down, so I trudged slowly along, trying to get to the aid station at mile 5.
When I reached the aid station I felt pretty bad. I had decided on my walk that I would drop out of the race at mile 40. If I was thinking more clearly I should have dropped at the aid station. I was not in good enough condition to walk/run another 5 miles with the day getting hotter. I was able to choke down a small piece of banana and drink some water. I poured water over my head to cool off, then began walking.
I was still breathing heavy, more people passed, and I felt like the last person on the course. I had the urge to pee so I went off course and stood in a hot field for what seemed a long time before I was able to go. Soon I was out of water and the toughest part of the course was upon me - steep, rolling bike hills, one after another, followed by longer hills, then shorter hills, repeated over and over.
Walking was taking too long so I attempted to run. After a few steps I tripped on a root and fell clumsily onto the hard path. I scraped my knee and shoulder, managed to get back up, and began walking again.
When I reached the end of the bike paths and entered the grassy area which meant the levee was close by, I rejoiced. I stopped on the path, sat down, and removed my shoes to get the rocks out. A woman ran by and asked if I was alright. I recognized her from the start of the race, where she had said that she was planning on finishing in 13 hours. This memory depressed me. She was soon followed by an older man who ran by cheerfully and asked if I was alright. I nodded, and when I got back up I started to run. I made it 100 yards, and then had to walk again. I felt wobbly, had no water, my head was hot and my heart was racing. But I was almost done, only a mile to go.
Before reaching the levee, which is a half mile in length, I had to traverse a few steep paths through the woods. When I got to them I was worried about the levee, as it was unshaded. If I was unable to run it would take 10 minutes to cross. I did not know if I could make it. I looked up and saw a young man sitting on the path with medics helping him. He looked like I felt. Suddenly I felt worse, and had to sit down on the side of the path, 20 yards from the medics and the sick runner. I felt dizzy, nauseous. I put my head down between my legs and thought I would vomit. Mike the race director walked over to me, he must have been out here helping the other sick runner, and asked how I was feeling. I told him I was ill. I started to hyperventilate, my breathing was fast and getting faster, I thought I was going to pass out and I sprawled on the ground, face down. Mike was carrying a plastic gallon of water, he asked if I wanted any, I told him I could not drink but asked him to pour it over my head. If I could cool down maybe I would feel better. The water was surprisingly ice cold but I was still hyperventilating. Mike put his hand on my shoulder and back and told me to think about my breathing. I was ready to give up hope, but I tried to place my mind in a meditation mode, following the breath, remaining in the present. Within 30 seconds my breathing slowed down and I asked for more water to be poured over me. The water fell in big drops down my back, on my neck, and over my head. I smiled at how good it felt, and within a few minutes my breathing was normal, it was the best it had felt in a long time.
The medics walked over and asked if they could help. I told them I was feeling better but they wanted to test my heart rate, blood sugar, and other things. This took 10 minutes, and then they helped me to my feet and I was able to walk on my own over the flat parts of ground, and the medics and Mike helped me up the steep parts of the path. When we reached the levee I was placed in a fire dept. pick up truck and driven across the levee, where an ambulance waited. I asked the fireman if he could drive me to the start/finish area 1/4 mile away, but he said the ambulance medics wanted to look me over. I got into the ambulance and lay on the stretcher. They retested everything and found nothing out of the ordinary. They wanted to drive me to the hospital but by now I was feeling better, so refused. They called a doctor, told him what had happened with me and that I refused to go to the hospital. They had me sign a form and let me keep a copy and told me to call them if I felt sick again. They then offered to drive me to the start/finish area and when they stopped the ambulance I got out, feeling pretty good.
My race thus over, I found Mike, thanked him for his help, and lay down in the shade of a tree for 30 minutes. When I got up I ate some food, then walked to my camp site and took the tent down. The sun was still overhead and it felt hot as I worked on the tent. A few times I had to stop and get into the shade. Although I was feeling better I was weak and realized the best thing was to be in a cool room laying on my back.
I was able to drive home safely and after returning the rental car had a large portion of Indian food before sleeping soundly for 10 hours. It was the first night in 2 weeks where I had uninterrupted sleep, and I felt happy when I woke up in the morning.
While this race did not turn out the way I had hoped, I did the best I could and fought through tough circumstances. I will admit I am tired of the pain of ultra races. It is one thing to experience the pain and then feel the high of finishing, but when the finish line is nowhere to be found the only reward is patiently awaiting the pain to fade.
Having done what I could with short races, and now also the longer ones, I find my interest in any kind of racing to be diminished. I am being pulled back to my original way of running - being out on the trails running alone, an end in itself. No finish line to cross, nobody to compete against, just the sun and the trees, my body in motion and the thoughts which accompany it.
My original plan was to take time off from running, but now that I have decided that I would be happier if I dropped racing altogether, there is no need to end training, since training is also finished. Run when I want, stop when I want. Taking days off with no thought as to how it will affect a future run. The freedom of running has never felt so strong.
