11:11

I was walking through the park last week and in a moment of clarity decided to choose November 11 as the date of my departure. While leaving before the arrival of winter is pleasant to ponder, the mystical 11:11 is what drew me to that month and day. Since childhood, whenever I have seen 11:11 (mainly on digital clocks) my mind becomes reflective and somewhat shaken - the number acts as a trigger for a memory of something which has not yet happened.

Having chosen the date, the next task is deciding upon the initial place of arrival. I have a world map laid out on the kitchen drawing table, and every day I study it, hoping for an insight or inspiration which will lead me to the correct and logical choice. With four months remaining I appear to be on schedule for making an important change in my surroundings and circumstances.

At times I have the idea to stay put and believe that the odd desire to leave all that I know is an effect of a restless mind. But this sentiment is soon overruled by a strong emotion which I recognize as my inner compass. It is this voice which has led me to the place where I now sit, and the important choices which I have made in the past have followed it faithfully. Long ago I decided that I would follow this voice over all others, and if it brought me to ruin so be it. One of the main purposes of my life is to use it to test ideas of spirit and integrity. Money, career, stability, things which seem on the surface to be good and worthy, are trappings which destroy that purpose, the reason being that to obtain these things I would need to do work which is dead to my heart - when the heart is dead, the voice is silent.

My guitar quest is moving steadily along. The past few weeks there has been more improvement, along with new ideas and practice methods. Since implementing the idea to forgo vibrato book technique, and learn it instead through trial and error, I have been liking the direction, and made a breakthrough a few days ago. My stamina and finger strength now allow me to practice for longer periods and I am using this new found endurance to play along to live Cream songs which last from 12-16 minutes each. Jamming to Spoonful for 16 minutes is an incredible experience, I follow the bass and drums as if the band were in my living room, using the rhythms to create improvisational leads. I can have long runs where everything flows smoothly before the finger patterns break down. I have also been playing to Canned Heat's first album. I have reached a point where I can create notes which sound like the blues, but I am still a number of years away from achieving the level I would like to be at - with each passing session the confidence that I will reach this higher level grows stronger.