Lunch in the Park

The past few days have been cool in the morning and warm in the afternoon. When I get home from work I pack a lunch, a book, my guitar, and ride my bicycle to Crystal Lake park. After getting comfortable on my favorite bench, I practice guitar in a peaceful mood until deciding to eat. When I finish the meal I stretch out and read a few pages about the Buddha and meditation.

Lately I have been thinking about returning to a more serious practice of meditation. I know from experience how my mind positively reacts to sitting still and focusing on the breath. The senses become more acute as the back and forth flow of thought slows to minimal movement. This induces a calm state of being which elicits a peculiar confidence in the chaos of the universe. The mind, still and serene, recognizes that there is at least one place in which the chaos is controlled.

I heard from my college friend Sokrates (David) today. He wrote a one sentence email asking me what was going on. He is a master guitarist and knows of my quest, so I gave him a few details on how my practice is coming along. He responded by challenging me to a tennis duel. I accepted his challenge, even though I am 6 pounds overweight and have knee tendinitis. He asked if there was a good Thai restaurant in Urbana. I replied that Siam Terrace would make the trip worth his while, and in exchange for his company I would buy him lunch and dinner. I am looking forward to seeing a friend from my youth, I have known him for 23 years - odd to think of not only myself, but my friends, as getting old.

Riff

The last few days with the guitar I have been making faster than normal progress. I recently found a couple of good web sites that offer numerous free backing tracks to practice to. My 1 month trial subscription to the scale system expired yesterday, and I decided not to renew because I can play the scales which I have now memorized to the free backing tracks.

With all of the lead practicing I have been doing with backing tracks it is easy to bypass the observation that hitting and changing chords is becoming faster/easier, finger placement on the pentatonic scale more accurate, and my picking hand is gaining in dexterity and coordination. Although I am far from speeding through timely riffs, I feel things are going better than expected.

With this in mind I studied a few videos today of how to play fast blues riffs. I decided to practice one in which the 4 finger (pinkie) hammers and pulls off the blue note, the 3rd finger then pulls off and quickly hits the adjacent top string. The guy in the video kills it, so I have an idea what it should sound like. After 5 minutes practice I memorized the sequence, now I just need to put in a few hours to get the right rhythm and speed.

Buddy & Olav

Had a good practice session yesterday.

I visited Olav's site and went deeper into the blues lessons. They are clearly written and have interesting backing tracks to play along with. I studied a section on turnarounds and easily learned some of the common ones, such as going from the 4th fret down to the first on the high E and G strings. After practicing it many times Rachel walked into the room and said if she heard the shuffle/turnaround one more time she was going to scream :)

So I went into my music room and played along to Buddy Guy songs. I found that many of the songs that I burned onto the CD are in the key of D, so I got a chance to practice something other than the usual A or E. I practiced standing up, which I don't do very often, but it is necessary if I ever want to jam with Joseph and his gf.

I feel I am making progress from day to day. My fingers are becoming stronger and more coordinated, knowledge of songs/scales/chords is increasing, and I am slowly becoming more relaxed as I play. The great thing about this quest is the complexity and depth of the guitar and music - no matter how far I get, there will always be a long road to travel.

Buddy Guy in the Key of D

A few times a week I throw on some favorite blues songs and play along as best I can. The first thing I do is play the main pentatonic box pattern on various frets until I find the right key (all the notes sound good). Once the key is found I can then play the entire fretboard using the 5 box patterns.

Last night I was trying to play along with an old Buddy Guy song but I was having trouble finding the key. I finally found that the main box pattern started at the 10th fret. I had never used the main pattern starting that high on the board, so was unsure what key it was. I checked the guitar scale system software and found it was D. Later that night I realized I was not clear on what determines the key for the pentatonic scale.

When I woke in the morning the first thing that came into my mind was that the key of the scale is determined by where the main pattern begins on the 6th string. What confused me is why the main pattern is the determinator of the key, why not any of the 4 other remaining patterns? Counting up the 6th string to the 10th fret I found the D note, so I now have a solid idea of what determines the key.

Today I felt ready to expand my knowledge of the blues, so I googled "12 bar blues progression" and was led to Olav Torvund's site. There was a clearly written article on the basics of blues chords, and I practiced along with the example of E, E7, A7, B7. I was surprised how good it sounded - my strumming and chord changing skills are increasing, along with my knowledge.

Thoughts on Teaching

On my daily run this morning I was thinking about how to proceed in my guitar quest. Now without guidance from a master guitarist, I must choose for myself the roads to travel and the things to study.

I reflected upon what teaching actually is. In just about everything in my life, the best teachers have been books. In school I can't recall any teachers who taught me anything of value. All they did was repeat the ideas which I read in books. It seems a teacher's purpose is to give tests and decide how students compare to one another. In other words - useless.

I realize that I most likely have a defect in processing the spoken word. When taking tests in school it was always a book's ideas which helped me, not the teacher's words. That the teaching profession exists is proof that the majority of people are helped by the spoken word.

To learn about film photography I did not take a class, but rather sought out the best book I could find. Without a doubt this was Ansel Adam's 3 volume series on the camera, film processing, and printing.

If I had been given a choice between reading the books, or learning directly from Adams himself, I would choose the books. Inside the books are Adams' ideas and experiences, clearly organized, the best words chosen to effectively communicate the meaning and importance of each concept -it is Adams at his very best. If I instead had to go to Adams' studio once a week for a short 30 minutes, I most likely would have received a jumbled and disorganized version of what was in the books. If Adams happened to be in a bad mood during my lesson, the ideas would have been even harder to understand. Reading 2 of the 3 volumes took 1.5 years to complete. I took it slow, and did not read the 3rd volume (printing) until my 5th year of working with photography. Had I taken 5 years of lessons I would have been less informed and gone broke.

A valuable lesson learned from my negative experiences with my two guitar teachers is that I dislike learning in the presence of another person. The one to one contact creates tension due to personality differences and different ways of thinking. Both teachers asked me to do things which I believed would not work for me. It caused friction which ended with the abortion of the lessons. If I had been learning math, I would not care how I arrived at the solution of a problem, I would do it the way it was taught with no complaint. However, when learning an art such as painting or music, the important thing is to follow one's heart and instincts. When coming to an idea in a book which I dislike, I simply ignore the suggestion and turn the page - no problems and no hurt egos. With a private teacher, any suggestion on my part that I don't like the idea will cause bad blood - The teacher is always right, and says "it's my way or the highway".

So I am now on the highway and much happier for it. I can't see myself taking private instruction again - not much fun in paying big bucks for the honor of being frustrated and poorly treated by a master guitarist.

My plan is to find the best guitar books and learn what I can from them. I received the Andreas book last week and am already learning some good things.

Moving Forward

I spent the weekend reflecting on the disintegration of my private guitar lessons. I am still in shock at how badly I was misunderstood, and realize that I did something to offend my teacher. I also know that any words or actions of mine which caused him harm were unintentional. I try my best not to say or do harmful things, but sometimes fail, like everyone else. I have learned how to forgive myself when such things occur, and to move forward in peace and love. Living in the past filled with guilt is not a proper way to experience life, and so I will try my best to put this behind me.

I did not play the guitar on Friday, and very little on Saturday, as I was feeling too unsettled to do so. I instead practiced meditation, hoping to calm my heart and mind. Yesterday I felt the absence of the guitar, so picked it up in the evening and was happy to practice a bit with it.

I was wondering how my mind would react to making mistakes. After being insulted by someone who is aware of my quest, telling me basically that I suck and will never be any good, it would be easy to fall into the trap of wanting to prove him wrong. However, I know that is an error in attitude, and admitted to myself that it does not matter if I suck and will never be any good. The goal of this quest is not to be good at the guitar, it is simply to play and see what happens. That was the same goal with photography - make pictures and see what happens. If I happen to be the least talented and most awful guitar player in the universe, so be it, I am fine with that.

What is important is that I love what I do, and I do love the mystery of making sounds with strings. In that frame of mind, not many negative thoughts entered my head as I practiced. I was using the classical guitar, finger picking another simple G/C/D combination, when I made sounds that reminded me of the song We are Going to be Friends by the White Stripes. I was curious to know what the chord sequence was to the song, so I stopped my practice to look it up on the internet. I discovered that the chord sequence was indeed G/C/D. I watched a couple of youtube videos describing how to play the song, wrote down the lyrics, returned to my studio, and an hour later knew how to play and sing the song.

I felt happy and proud when I finished that my attitude was positive, that I was able to leave my teacher in the past, and in doing so was rewarded in the present with an inspiring session. My voice is getting better, and I am becoming more skilled in knowing when to change the pitch to match the timing of the chord changes. The fact that I have always loved this song made me happy to know that I can now play it whenever I desire.

Bolt from the Blue

Yesterday I received an email from my guitar teacher Robert. As I read through the letter I felt a wave of unpleasant surprise rising over me.

There have been a few times in my life when a relationship I have with a person is based on a sequence of misunderstandings, until finally the weight of the misperception is directed into a bout of anger and revenge. I have experienced both sides, sometimes as the giver, other times as receiver. Fortunately these intense moments of anguish have been few. I try hard not to live in anger, and it is a fine line to walk when following one's heart while at the same time being mindful of the the desires and feelings of others.

Robert's letter contained insults, false perceptions, faulty logic, and one zen quote. All of the venom was directed at me, a lowly 4 month student of the guitar. It was a bolt from the blue because in our face to face lessons he was always pleasant and patient, never saying an unkind word.

He was angered by my audacity to question the value and effect his lessons were having upon me. For our 5th lesson I wrote out a 1 page summary of the previous 5 weeks guitar work. At the end of the summary I mentioned that knowing that Robert was going to move to Chicago in a couple of months, I had decided that at that time I would not go to another teacher, as I believed by that point I should be able to make progress working on my own. To help clarify my decision I gave examples of numerous activities which I had learned without the aid of a teacher.

I gave this summary to Robert at the beginning of our lesson, to read while I tuned my guitar. I wanted him to know all that I had learned, what my practice sessions contained, and my decision to go solo once he left for Chicago. He gave no indication of displeasure, and we then began the lesson.

The next day he sent a letter to me explaining how someone who cannot even hold a guitar correctly in his lap should not be giving advice and direction to the teacher. That I am stubborn for not wanting to practice picking and counting rhythms, and was wrong for using outside sources to supplement his teaching. He wrote that I always showed up early and stayed past the ending lesson time. That had I listened to half of what he had said in the lessons I would be much further along in my playing. He then wrote that he ripped up my check paying for the next set of 4 lessons, and because of my poor attitude and bad practice habits decided he was no longer going to teach me.

Stunned, I reread the letter and decided that because I respected him as a teacher, it would be best to respond to his letter in order to clarify and express my view of things. If I did not like him or considered him a terrible person, I would not waste my time with a response, but this was not the case, so I sat down for a few hours and composed a letter in which I hoped contained no counter insults or false statements.

When I was satisfied with what I had written I sent it off, and then tried to recover from the awful blow. I will probably always remember this strange and unsettling incident with a heavy heart. I liked Robert, and believed that I could make progress with his help. I wondered about my decision to write out the 5 week summary, and to share it with Robert. I realize I was not showing much respect for teaching methods in general when I stated that it was possible to learn independently, but it is how I feel, and I believe that honesty always wins out in the end.

The loss of the lessons don't bother me much, as I believe I can still make progress if I work hard. What does bother me is the always present potential for misunderstandings which lead to hurtful things said and done.

Turn My Mind on Bright

Had my 5th lesson with Robert today. We worked on a simple blues rhythm made slightly complex. I plan to work on it all week, along with the other stuff I like to practice - scales, chords, and improvised blues riffs.

When I got home I sat down at the computer ready to practice the scale system. Before I loaded the program I started strumming a simple G, D, C pattern. However, the way I was strumming it, and the timing of the beat, inspired me to set words to it.

I have never attempted song lyrics before, although I have written plenty of poetry. Here is my first attempt :

Turn My Mind on Bright

The sinking sun

Pink and gray

Throwing shadows

Cracks the Window Pane

Your faded picture

Your hair all black

Hanging crooked

Staring at my back

And Hey

The light in my eyes

Makin' me squint

Cursin' the sky

And Hey

You left me blue

Hangin' my head

Scrapin' my shoes

The little house

Yellow and white

The lights are all off

No one to fight

I'm watchin' that road

Empty in the night

Will you ever come back

Turn my mind on bright

And Hey

The light in my eyes

Makin' me squint

Cursin' the sky

And Hey

You left me blue

Hangin' my head

Scrapin' my shoes

Moon

I watched the film Moon today. It is a great sci-fi story about clones and energy.

The soundtrack was amazing. My instincts told me the score was written by someone I highly respect. After the film ended I looked up the soundtrack on Youtube and discovered that Clint Mansell wrote the music - indeed, he is one of my favorite modern composers.

Moon - Welcome to Lunar Industries

As the film rolled to its conclusion I thought about Migel from my warehouse days. Standing in the back of the warehouse on warm summer afternoons, folding boxes and flipping them into a pile, he would reveal to me esoteric tales and disturbing conspiracies. One was how the government had farms for human cloning, the clones to be used for fighting future wars and working difficult jobs. He told me this in 1990, before cloning was revealed to be possible. When Migel suddenly disappeared I felt I had lost a link to a circle of dangerous truths. Tonight I am wondering about Migel.....

Warm Spring Day

After working out at Brookens in the morning, I packed a lunch along with my new guitar book, and carried my guitar to Crystal Lake Park. I sat on my new favorite bench and enjoyed the day. I even wrote a letter, which is something I used to do a lot, but the last few years I am lucky if I write 2 or 3 a year.

Nothing new to report on guitar practice, I just keep working on the pentatonic scale, which will most likely be my main work for the next 3 or 4 weeks.

The Bends

At yesterday's lesson Robert taught me a blues riff which included a string bend on the 7th fret of the G string, which then led to a finger barre of the B/E strings on the 5th fret (part of the A pentatonic scale). As I practiced it he began to play a nice sounding blues rhythm, and I took control of the lead guitar. The experience of playing the blues with Robert had a dreamlike quality, as I never believed until a few months ago that I would play the blues, or the guitar.

Today I practiced the riff, paying attention to the bending of the G string. After many reps I began to feel more comfortable, and also found a new riff.

I have been practicing Claude's scale system everyday, so the pentatonic is getting burned into my memory, along with the muscle memory needed to play it.

Principles

I lost the flow of making guitar practice entries due to having our computer being switched with my wife's sister's computer. The new/temporary keyboard is difficult to use, I am always hitting the caplock key and missing the spacebar, so I have been avoiding typing whenever possible. We should have our computer back soon, so I am looking forward to having access to my photo files and being able to write again.

Today I ordered Jamie Andreas' "Principles of Correct Practice for Guitar". I have been reading her online essays for the past 2 months, and I have decided that her teaching and philosophy fits nicely with my style of learning. I am looking forward to reading the book and incorporating her principles and methods to my own practice structure.

I continue to make progress. My ring finger is still a little swollen from jamming it last week, but the pain has diminished, so I can practice guitar without any problems. I have been using Claude's scale software and with only a week of practice I have committed to memory the pentatonic scale in various keys. Although sitting in front of the computer with the guitar is not as relaxing as practicing in my studio, I find the 30-60 minute daily sessions to be enjoyable because of the chance to play along with the backing tracks.

I have my 3rd lesson with Robert tomorrow afternoon. So far I am enjoying the lessons. He allows me to plug into his big amp and I love the sound it gives to my guitar. During the lessons he throws me tidbits of information that I find to be helpful. He is trying to get me to open up my picking hand, and use it as a bridge on the pick guard. I don't find it to be comfortable, so for now I am sticking with keeping the hand loosely clenched in a fist-like position.